I had the rare opportunity of being a passenger of my mother’s – which is a rare treat for me since I am usually the one in the driver’s seat. While it should have been a time of rest – a chance to sit back, take in the sights and enjoy the ride, I spent most of the time giving instructions…”slow down“…”brake“…”watch that car“…”turn signals“…”not that way“. My mother ever so kindly reminded me of several things…she has been driving longer than I have been alive and that she was the one in the driver’s seat (Oh and that my incessant need to give orders was probably the exact reason my teenage son hasn’t gotten his driver’s license yet).

After this experience, I had an a-ha moment….a reminder that I still like to be in control. As I write these words, one of my favorite 80’s songs popped into my head…

“I got my own mind…

Gonna make my own decisions…

When it has to do with my life…my life…

I’m gonna be the one who’s in control.

I’m in control…and I love it.”

Oh how I loved that song. The lyrics – a soundtrack to my life but yet so reckless as I sing along to them now and think about my journey in Christ. I am a girl who likes order, structure, consistency – which are not bad but I really like to feel like I am in control.

When I try to control my life, things might seem as if they are going well on the outside but I am riddled with anxiety – always trying to plan and calculate the next move. I am stressed, frustrated, and later find out that I never really had control in the first place. As I was trying so hard to control a specific area of my life, another was spiraling out of control. When I am in control, my best intentions are limited. Plans uncommitted to prayer and without the filter of God’s Word quickly fall apart and tend to become disastrous.

When I surrendered my life to Christ, I handed over the keys to my heart but I think sometimes I held on to the spare key to my will.

I thank God for this much needed reminder that if I want to make my life a little easier, I need to let Him have control.