Motherhood is a daunting task at any age. I would imagine Sarah, the mother of Isaac, struggled with thoughts of what she could offer a child at such a late season in her life. Would she have the energy to keep up with a rambunctious young child? Would she have the patience? Would she be able to relate? Would she be around for those critical milestones in her child’s life?
Maybe you haven’t given birth to your child in your winter season, but you have taken on the role of mother to a grandchild, niece, nephew, or complete stranger. You may be a little skeptical of your ability to mother at this age, your ability to provide or, keep up with the child. BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL.
God has given you wisdom, resources, and, most of all, love to share. Embrace your winter season of motherhood, because God is faithful and great is your reward.
As God blessed Sarah, He will bless you.
A Prayer for the Winter Mother:
Heavenly Father,
You are faithful. Even in my winter season, You have trusted me and called me to the role of mother. Though at times I don’t quite understand, neither do I think I am up for the task. I know I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. Thank You for providing everything I need to parent in this season.
“Then he said, “Blessed are you of the LORD, my daughter! For you have shown more kindness at the end than at the beginning, in that you did not go after young men, whether poor or rich. And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you request, for all the people of my town know that you are a virtuous woman.”
Ruth had reason to throw in the towel. She left her family and her beliefs to follow her husband only to lose him without any children to carry on his legacy. She could have easily pulled the shade, curled up on her mat and slept her pain away. Instead, she held on to her newfound faith as if she was clinging on for her life, committing herself to her mother-in-law and her God.
“For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, And your God, my God.”
Ruth 1:16 NKJV
Her resilience, faith, obedience, integrity, and sacrifices ultimately led her to Boaz. Had she stayed in her room, she may have missed her kinsmen-redeemer—missed being the great grandmother of King David and being listed in the lineage of Jesus.
Don’t let your situation keep you down. Get up and get moving. Your Redeemer still lives.
A Prayer for the Faithful Mother:
Heavenly Father, Despite my loss, You are still God. You are a restorer of all things lost when I feel like giving up. You give me the strength to relentlessly pursue and follow You in willful obedience, trusting You—for You are my God. On the other side of loss is joy and life that is available to me now. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Hannah. A woman with a burning desire to become a mother—committed to giving her child back to the Lord to be used by Him. Nurturing little Samuel until it was time to let him go to prepare for his calling.
My favorite part of her story is the little robe. I can almost visualize her making it. Praying as she knit, thoughts of how her firstborn would be used by the Lord, her heart swelling with joy, mixed emotions of sadness as she looked forward to her annual visit with her son to deliver her handmade gift. The little robe, a reminder of her belief in what he would become.
Maybe it’s the money, time spent at the sporting activities, the back and forth from drop-offs and pick-ups from lessons, the continuous prayers, the constant show of support, and the encouraging words. A mother’s support and commitment to her children never ends—even when they are off on their own.
A Prayer for the Committed Mother:
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for lending us Your children. Creating us to nurture, love, and teach them—preparing them for their destiny and teaching them how to depend on You. Please give us the wisdom to instruct them in Your ways and to encourage them along the way. Use them for Your glory.
At the end of the year, I make time to reflect on the year behind me – the good and the bad, the growth and the areas of stagnation (the more appropriate word might be rebellion – but I am working on being kind to myself…), the people that came into my life and those that left, the opportunities and experiences that I’ve had and even those that I missed, the goals I met and those that remain unchecked on my list.
There was a time where I would feel defeated if I didn’t improve in a certain area or meet my goals for the year – even if I met 3 out of 5, I would consider it a loss. I would try to cram some of the unmet goals into whatever time remained instead of taking the time to rest, reflect, recommit, celebrate, and recover from making it through another year. Another year of doing enough…if I am being honest, probably more than enough (one of my opportunity areas but God is still working on me).
As I continue to grow up…sorry let me use grown up words here…mature, I view things differently. I recognize that maybe it wasn’t intended for me to do all the things that I (emphasis on the word I) planned to do, but that I did everything God wanted me to do. In I am being transparent, one of my goals was to be more consistent with writing for Royalty. I started off the year doing well according to me, however, not only did life change, but the assignment changed. While I wasn’t regularly writing here, I was using my gift in other areas – which I look forward to sharing more about in due time!
This year I have learned not to be so married to my plans that I can’t pivot and embrace when plans change and to stop measuring success based on my ability to reach every one of my goals and intentions.
Instead, I ask myself:
Did you do your best?
Did you do what you were supposed to do?
Did you learn from the mistakes and missteps along the way?
If the answer is yes, then you did enough.
This year I have been blessed to witness some beautiful things, as well as some not so beautiful things. I have made new memories and even missed out on a few opportunities. I have been blessed beyond what I deserve and have been frustrated when things have not gone my way. I have met some great people and encountered some not-so-great people. I have built some amazing relationships and lost a few along the way. I have done things that I once thought was impossible, stepped out on faith and fell down a couple times along the way. I have done the work required of me, the work on myself, the work I have been assigned and on occasion some other folks work, yet there is still much work to be done. But everything that has happened this year was enough. Everything that I did was enough. Enough for me and enough of what God wanted for me.
As we prepare to flip the page on chapter 2022, I encourage you to celebrate all that you did this year, reflect on all the moments, assess your opportunity areas, set a few goals for the coming year and commit yourself to them. However, the most important thing you should do, is thank God for all that He has done for you this year and commit yourself to Him, because He has always been more than enough.
My prayer for you in 2023 is that you embrace all of who God created you to be and all He has in store for you.
“Beloved, I pray that in every way you may succeed and prosper and be in good health [physically], just as [I know] your soul prospers [spiritually].”
– 3 John 1:2 AMP
Take a breath, relax, and chill out…. What you did this year was enough. You are enough. He is enough.
all (adjective) – the whole amount, quantity or extent of; completely take up with, given to or absorbed by.
One of my favorite scriptures that I lean on during times of uncertainty is Proverbs 3:5-6. There are times where I find the words more comforting than as a command to apply. While it sounds good in theory, there are times I fail to follow these words of wisdom:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”
As I consider the word all. I reflect on whether I have given my whole heart to trusting God. Am I really trusting Him with all my heart? Or just a portion that remains hopeful despite my current situation? Or am I just trusting God with the things that I think He cares about?
When things don’t look the way I think they should or things aren’t moving at the rate of speed I desire and doubt creeps in, it is obvious that I am not trusting God with all my heart. During my private time with God, I am convinced that His promises are sure. Even as I meditate during praise and worship during church service, my heart seems so full of assurance. Yet there are times, way more often than I care to admit, I walk away with a little doubt in my heart. I think of ways I can help God out, as if He is not capable, creating my own master plan to make everything work according to my plan.
What prevents us from trusting the Lord all of our hearts?
A wounded heart…
“Guard your heart above all else for it is the source of life.” Proverbs 4:23
A wounded heart is a result of an unguarded heart. If we are not careful, we can let the seeds of human failures, bitterness over unanswered prayers, frustration from trying to do things on our own and even the issues of life fill our hearts leaving little room for trust.
A deceived heart…
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it?” Jeremiah 17:9
Sometimes we are deceived into believing we are not worthy to be loved by God and are therefore not eligible for His promises. We believe we must work to earn God’s love and His blessings. We are further deceived when we believe that we are self-sufficient and deny the All-Sufficient One’s ability to work on our behalf.
An impure heart….
“Create in me a clean heart, O God,” Psalm 51:10
Our hearts can be tainted by unforgiveness, unbelief and unconfessed sin. The grudges and guilt prevent us from drawing near to God, making it impossible to trust God. James encourages us to purify our hearts so that we can draw near to God (James 4:8).
An unsurrendered heart…
“For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” Romans 10:10
It is impossible to trust God if your heart is not surrendered to Jesus. When we have surrendered our hearts to Jesus, trusting Him with our lives, He will begin to work in our hearts.
Jesus gives us the cure for our hearts through the greatest command, “Love the Lord your God will all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” (Matthew 22:37). When we allow our hearts to be filled with the love of God that flows from a surrendered, pure, and open heart as we draw near to Him, He will teach us how to trust Him as we are reminded of His promises and how He has demonstrated His love (past and present) in our lives so that we can trust Him with our future. He is concerned about everything about us. There is nothing about us that He is unaware of or is off limits. He wants all of us and wants us to trust Him with it all. It’s either all or nothing.
“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to an all-knowing God.He who believes in God is not careful for the morrow, but labors joyfully and with a great heart. He must work and watch yet never be anxious or careful, but commit all to Him, and live in serene tranquility with a quiet heart, as one who sleeps safely and quietly.”
“…your Father knows the things you need before you ask Him.” – Matthew 6:8
Have you ever been waiting for your prayers to be answered and found the waiting period reminiscent of days from your childhood? Those days when we submitted our gift requests to our parents and anxiously waited in expectation for the special occasion to arrive with our much-desired gift in tow. We talked about the gift nonstop to anyone who would listen, we imagined how much joy it would bring us, and on occasion we lost sight of the gifts we already had while we waited for the brand-new gift to arrive. The forgotten gifts…piling up, neglected, and collecting dust. The same gifts we once begged for, the ones we couldn’t wait to get, the gifts our parents saved for and in some cases, sacrificed to purchase (that’s a word…). The forgotten gifts that require just a little T.L.C. – waiting to be shared with someone else that could benefit from its purpose and the same joy the gift used to offer.
When the special day arrives, we are often so excited about the gift, we can’t think straight. We open the packaging only to find out it’s not what we asked for…it’s not the gift we wanted. We pretend to show our appreciation while trying to cover our disappointment and, in some cases, hold back tears. We were so certain that our parents were going to deliver on our request. Didn’t they read the list? Didn’t they hear me talking about it 24/7? Didn’t they think I deserved it? Why didn’t they tell me I wasn’t getting the gift I asked for?
After we get over the disappointment and sit with the gift our parents opted for, we realize they gave us a gift we needed. A gift with our best interests in mind. A gift that brings goodness into our lives, a gift they knew would be a better suited for us or in some cases, a gift that would prepare us for what we really wanted but were not mature or responsible enough to handle just yet.
Often, we become so fixated on what we want; we miss out on what we need to receive the gift our Father has in store for us. We miss the lessons that prepare us, the people we need, and the people God has placed in our path that will benefit from our current and future gifts. We miss out on the process of allowing God to align our requests and our hearts for the new gift He eagerly wants to give us. Not the one we desired…the one He desires for us. The best gift. As He is preparing the gift, He wants to know that we trust Him and that He can trust us with the gifts He has for us.
The process of waiting can be challenging at times as we try to manage our desires, expectations, emotions, and our tendency to control the outcome. We become so focused on what we’re waiting for that we often lose sight of what is right in front of and what’s happening in between, we even tend to neglect the things we need to be maintaining while we wait. It is when we trust God and shift our focus to being present – present in the moment, present with the people in our lives, and present with God that we receive the best gifts. The gifts we need.
Trust our Father, He knows what we need before we even ask!
“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.”
Welcome to March! How are those New Year’s resolutions, intentions or goals coming along? For some of us, we start the year with new goals, intentions, and resolutions, ready to conquer the world, be better and do better. Sadly, we tend to lose steam, focus and commitment or perhaps a curve ball comes our way that knocks us off course.
The good news is…you have 305 days ahead of you! Take a breath, reset, and get back to working on those goals.
Start with self-reflection.
Is this something God wants for me?
As a person of faith, I believe this is the most important question you can ask. You may be embarking on a goal that is not part of God’s plan for your life. If that’s the case, you may need to do a little bit more searching to determine what it is you should be doing in this season.
Am I trying to do this on my own?
Are you relying on your willpower alone? Well, that’s not going to quite cut it. While hard work is important, you need accountability, support, and counsel to help you reach your goals.
Am I getting in my own way?
Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. We allow fear, insecurity, rejection, and past failures to keep us from achieving our goals. Self-sabotage will surely keep you from the finish line.
Commit your plans to God.
Seek God in your goal planning. Trust Him to guide, provide and empower you.
Walk with God.
You may need other people to achieve your goals, but true, lasting success only comes from God. Stick with Him through the good and bad.
Stop dwelling on the past.
Don’t stay stuck on yesterday, the day before, last month or last year. Your work is in front of you.
Keep it moving.
Don’t let obstacles and setbacks keep you from moving ahead. There are lessons to be learned and a goal to reach. You may need a time out but don’t stay there.
Have faith in God….and you!
Trust God throughout the process. Put your faith in Him and yourself. You got this!
Don’t give up. It may be hard at times but there is something great on the other side.
You can do all things through Him who gives you strength.
Loving someone, means you will inevitably experience pain…you risk being disappointed, frustrated, and even rejected. The pain associated with love is only known by the depths that one loves. In fact, it’s often not until you experience loss that you realize just how great your love was for that which was lost and there is no greater loss than when our loved ones transition from this life to the next. The scar of grief that remains is a reminder of the love we lost, how things were and how they could have been. The scar is frequently agitated by memories, pictures, special occasions and just about anything that reminds you it’s still there.
Grief is a process with no end in sight. It stays with you forever yet improves over time and with great care. While grief is associated with pain…and don’t get me wrong it is dreadfully painful at times, it is also a reminder of the love we had, the memories we made, and the life that we shared. Though we don’t welcome grief, it is an indication of our capacity to love and care for the people God has placed in our lives if only for a season but always in our hearts. It is in our grief, that we discover unknown strength, gain new perspectives of love, and a deeper appreciation for those that remain. Love is patient, gentle, kind….but it also hurts.
As I navigate my own grief journey, I am comforted by the love that I still have, the outpouring of love from my family and friends, and God’s grace…which is more than sufficient. I am also learned to embrace the process of grief and to handle myself with care.
When the pain sets in:
Remember
Remember the good memories you shared with your loved one. Remember the expressions of love, the moments that bring you joy, and the moments that make you laugh.
Release
Cleanse your soul. When the tears come, let them fall and just be. Tears are a necessary part of the journey.
Reach Out
YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE. Reach out to your family and friends. Let them know that you are hurting. You are not a burden. As one who loved, those deposits that you made are waiting for you with open arms. Don’t be afraid to say you are not okay. It’s okay not to be okay. And don’t be afraid to seek counseling or therapy. In fact, I highly recommend it.
Rejoice
Celebrate your loved one’s life and your progress in your grief journey.
Repeat
Grief is a forever thing. Repeat this process as often as needed.
Love hurts but it is worth it all.
Scriptures to comfort you throughout your grief journey:
Valentine’s Day. A day for lovers. A day set aside to celebrate love. Some choose to express their love through flowers, romantic dinner/gestures, candy, and cards filled with sweet sentiments reserved for this special day of love. For some, Valentine’s Day is a reminder of their relationship status or lack thereof. It can be a day of grieving what was lost, what was hoped for, and wondering why you are the only one in your circle who is still single. These are valid feelings. They shouldn’t be just shrugged off, dismissed, and ignored. However, they should not lead you to believe you aren’t loved either. The truth is you are loved more than you even know.
As a single woman, I must be intentional about being gentle and loving myself on Valentine’s Day, and to be honest regularly. I must remember how deeply I am loved by God and the people that He has placed in my life. To freely pour the love that I do have into those I am attached to. To spend time loving myself, appreciating my own worth and keep living so that when that special person does come along, I can fully appreciate and freely pour out the love that I have to offer.
See…the thing that I have come to realize is, there is only one True Love. He sees me, He knows me, He cares about me, and He loves me. I don’t have to earn His love; I don’t have to prove that I am worthy of love. I can be me and know that He loves me. There are no conditions to be met – only an open heart to receive what He has to offer. Without True Love, love can never be known or embraced.
There’s a story in the Bible about a young woman named, Leah, who was vying for the attention and love of her mate. A mate who was with her out of obligation, not love. A mate who loved someone else. She hoped by giving him babies, something her sister couldn’t do, it would make her worthy of his love. Leah, described as one with gentle eyes (kindly implying, she wasn’t attractive), was probably overlooked by many. However, she was seen by God. I am sure there were times Leah felt alone, rejected, forgotten about and wondered why she wasn’t worthy of love.
When I read this story, I wonder what Leah felt watching up close and personal someone else be in a relationship she desired for herself. What it must have been like to long for the love she saw her sister freely receive. I realize I can empathize with Leah. Wondering when it will be your turn as you celebrate your friends finding love. Watching time go by, hoping it won’t be too late. In those moments of fleeting discontentment, thinking I must be invisible, or something is wrong with me. Then reality sets in. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me, I have so much to offer the world (not just a man), and I am so very loved!
My sister (and those brothers who might stumble across this), let me encourage you…
You are seen. You are loved. You are worthy of love and there is nothing wrong with you. Maybe it’s not the one right now, but there are people all around you who love you and need your love. Not just for one day but EVERYDAY! There is only One Real Love, One True Love that fills your heart and will satisfy every desire – forever and always.
While you wait, know that you are seen, and that God has a plan for You – a plan He had in mind when He saw you in your mother’s womb. While you wait, give birth to that vision God has placed in your heart, live life fully, and love yourself well so that you can love others well.
God saw, heard, and blessed Leah. It did not require a love she thought she needed. She received the Real Love that she needed. And then Leah said, “and now I will praise the Lord!”
I promise you…the wait will be worth it!
Your Sister in Waiting,
Jennifer
Prayer:
‘I pray that Christ will live in your hearts because of your faith. I pray that your life will be strong in love and be built on love. And I pray that you and all God’s holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ’s love—how wide, how long, how high, and how deep that love is. Christ’s love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with everything God has for you. With God’s power working in us, he can do much, much more than anything we can ask or think of. To him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus for all time, forever and ever. Amen.’
Ephesians 3:17-21
Scriptures to remind you of how much you are loved:
Photo by Miguel u00c1. Padriu00f1u00e1n on Pexels.com
One of my tasks for the new year is to clean up my digital footprint. To keep this from being an arduous task and to make sure I clean up EVERYTHING, I decided to begin by tackling the daily “memories” on one of my social media accounts. Paging through the memories invoked a variety of emotions and thoughts ranging from joy, sadness, and embarrassment. I hung on to those “memories” I wouldn’t mind popping up on my feed annually and delete those that remind me of a less mature version of myself, perhaps under the influence or need to put on my best social media face to impress others or caught up in things that distracted me from living or posts that were reminders of a painful time. I find myself cleaning up the messier version of myself – choosing to keep those memories that bring a smile to my face or that I wouldn’t mind someone stumbling across.
As I was deleting, I thought about the pointlessness of my actions. Yes, it would clean up my profile but all of those moments were representative of who I was at that particular moment in my life. Looking back I could see the growth, change, a woman I could be proud of. Deleting the posts weren’t going to change who I was or who I am today.
Just like my digital footprint, there are moments in my life that I would like to forget. Painful, shameful and regretful moments…moments I wish I could delete. If I delete those moments, would I be the person I am today? Each of the moments I want to delete were necessary for my growth and the journey ahead. In all those things, I was being molded, shaped and refined to the person I am today – with lessons and memories to encourage me through the journey. Most importantly they taught me about grace.
My favorite scripture is Romans 8:28, ” And we know in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose”. When you belong to God, He does not waste anything. Those things you want to delete, worked out for your good.
ROYALTY 