What Are You Hiding Behind?

Last week was really challenging for me. It was rough and I really wasn’t liking myself because of the funk I was in. Nothing seemed to be going right. Every time I turned around it was something. I felt underwhelmed, overwhelmed, scattered, rushed, drained….it was a rough one. The only time I seemed to be okay was in my “quiet time” in the corner of my sanctified sofa but as soon as I walked away it was like I walked under a dark cloud. When I was in my quiet time, things made sense, there was peace, there was rest, and assurance but when I walked away I felt chaos swirling in my head – so many thoughts, so much to do, anxiety creeping in…. I pretty much carried all of it with me and on me throughout the day.

My countenance had nothing to do with the worship music. It wasn’t the scripture. It wasn’t God…it was me. I was choosing to pick back up and put on what was keeping me from letting God’s presence rest within me and work through me.

Then I stumbled across a portion of Brother Moses’ story. A time when his countenance changed after being in the presence of the Lord.

“When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the covenant law in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the Lord. When Aaron and all the Israelites saw Moses, his face was radiant, and they were afraid to come near him.

When Moses finished speaking to them, he put a veil over his face. But whenever he entered the Lord’s presence to speak with Him, he removed the veil until he came out. And when he came out and told the Israelites what he had been commanded, they saw that his face was radiant. Then Moses would put the veil back over his face until he went in to speak with the Lord.”

Exodus 34:29-30, 33-35 NIV

I thought about my own tendency to put on veils that prevent me from drawing near to God and cover the presence of Him in my life. Veils of fear, insecurity, frustration, pain, anger, irritability, unforgiveness, pressure, unbelief, anxiety and entitlement – all keeping me from fully embracing God and allowing His Spirit to radiate within and through me.

What veils are you hiding behind?

While our faces may not be radiant like Moses’, there should be a light radiating from those of us who belong to Him.

“Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are—face-to-face! They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone. And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We’re free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.”

2 Corinthians 3:16-18 MSG

Remove the veil and let your light shine bright!

Deeper…but I’m not sure I want to go….

We sing the songs, we study the verses, and pass along the devotionals with the message “Lord, I want to go deeper, Anything for your glory, I’m ready Lord, Use me.”

But when He takes us deeper, when He takes us to that cliff and we’re in the pit of deeper, not quite how we envisioned…all of a sudden we don’t like deeper. We don’t want to be there. We don’t want to be broken. We don’t want to see His glory in the deep, yet we were so anxious to see His glory from the heights.

We seem to believe that theses moments of deeper should be elevated moments of success, back to back victories, happy, happy, joy, joy. We don’t believe that deeper sometimes means us taking a detour to the pit – the pit of tragedy, the pit of sickness, the pit of unemployment, the pit of divorce, the pit of a lost child. This is when He’s taking us deeper, that’s when He wants to develop our faith, that’s when He wants to speak to us, when He wants to use us.

It’s in these very moments that He is taking us deeper.

As I am reminded of one of my favorite songs… “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, WHEREVER you would call me…take me where my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.” -Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) Hillsong United

The moment we say “Yes, Lord use me, Yes, Lord I’ll go” we don’t have say in the wherever. We have to trust Him, trust the process, and allow Him to take us deeper WHEREVER He would call us.

Now that’s deep!

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs the all.”

-2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 17

Forever Grateful,

J