Motherhood is a daunting task at any age. I would imagine Sarah, the mother of Isaac, struggled with thoughts of what she could offer a child at such a late season in her life. Would she have the energy to keep up with a rambunctious young child? Would she have the patience? Would she be able to relate? Would she be around for those critical milestones in her child’s life?
Maybe you haven’t given birth to your child in your winter season, but you have taken on the role of mother to a grandchild, niece, nephew, or complete stranger. You may be a little skeptical of your ability to mother at this age, your ability to provide or, keep up with the child. BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL.
God has given you wisdom, resources, and, most of all, love to share. Embrace your winter season of motherhood, because God is faithful and great is your reward.
As God blessed Sarah, He will bless you.
A Prayer for the Winter Mother:
Heavenly Father,
You are faithful. Even in my winter season, You have trusted me and called me to the role of mother. Though at times I don’t quite understand, neither do I think I am up for the task. I know I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. Thank You for providing everything I need to parent in this season.
“Then he said, “Blessed are you of the LORD, my daughter! For you have shown more kindness at the end than at the beginning, in that you did not go after young men, whether poor or rich. And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you request, for all the people of my town know that you are a virtuous woman.”
Ruth had reason to throw in the towel. She left her family and her beliefs to follow her husband only to lose him without any children to carry on his legacy. She could have easily pulled the shade, curled up on her mat and slept her pain away. Instead, she held on to her newfound faith as if she was clinging on for her life, committing herself to her mother-in-law and her God.
“For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, And your God, my God.”
Ruth 1:16 NKJV
Her resilience, faith, obedience, integrity, and sacrifices ultimately led her to Boaz. Had she stayed in her room, she may have missed her kinsmen-redeemer—missed being the great grandmother of King David and being listed in the lineage of Jesus.
Don’t let your situation keep you down. Get up and get moving. Your Redeemer still lives.
A Prayer for the Faithful Mother:
Heavenly Father, Despite my loss, You are still God. You are a restorer of all things lost when I feel like giving up. You give me the strength to relentlessly pursue and follow You in willful obedience, trusting You—for You are my God. On the other side of loss is joy and life that is available to me now. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Back to one of my love’s…writing. Not that I have stopped writing or ever will (Lord willing) but writing has looked different for me in this season. It’s been more personal. It has been a vehicle for processing the tough questions…” Did I get it right?”, “Did I take care of the people and things that God has trusted me with?”, “What’s next?”. Writing for me this season has been a searching, purging, and cleansing of the soul.
Life has also been “lifing”! Though I feel like I have been present, time seems like it is moving at a new rate of speed. Speaking of time flying, this weekend I had the privilege of watching my son receive his bachelor’s degree. It seems like somehow overnight I became the mother of a 22-year-old college graduate. My once bright eyed, full of laughter baby boy is now a man with the world in front of him.
It is hard to put into words what I felt in that moment or even today. Not because there aren’t any words, but rather there are so many. There is so much to process, all the memories, the answered prayers, and wishing I could shrink him back into his pint size packaging. Excited and at the same time just a bit anxious about the journey ahead. The gratitude I have for being chosen to be his mother.
I have often wondered what this moment would feel like. None of them compared to what I am feeling. There have been moments where my heart has been so full I thought it would leap out of my chest. The quiet moments reflecting on the memories, silent prayers, sacrifices and tears shed over the years trying to figure out how to get this mothering thing right.
Then there is the moment. What now? How do I transition to being the mother of an adult? How do I let go to watch what I gave birth to, nurtured, prayed over go into the world to find his own place in it? The answer – trust God. If we’re being honest, the answer is much simpler than the doing. We think we know what is best for our children when it’s always been God at the helm teaching us, protecting them, and preparing the path they would take.
God has given women the greatest gift and privilege, second only to the gift of Jesus, with the gift of motherhood. He has entrusted us with the care of His sons and daughters, calling us to be fruitful and give Him glory in the process. To be fruitful, we must be willing to release what we produced – trusting God to take care of the rest. Releasing what we have given birth to demonstrates our trust in God. Releasing gives space for God’s promises to unfold. He has a plan for our children’s lives, just like He has one for ours. Releasing does not change who they are, who we are or who God is. My son was God’s son first and will always be just like I will always be his mother. No matter what.
As we approach Mother’s Day and in honor of mothers in every season of life, I will be sharing daily devotionals from A Mother’s Heart, a gift I wrote to encourage the special women in my life. A reminder of the greatness of who we are, to honor the sacrifices we are called to make, and to celebrate embracing the call of motherhood. Whether you have birth children or not, God has given you a mother’s heart.
Forever Grateful,
Jennifer
P.S. Scrolling through the pictures from this weekend, I came across this picture that gently reminded me “Mom, it’s okay to let go now.” LOL.
all (adjective) – the whole amount, quantity or extent of; completely take up with, given to or absorbed by.
One of my favorite scriptures that I lean on during times of uncertainty is Proverbs 3:5-6. There are times where I find the words more comforting than as a command to apply. While it sounds good in theory, there are times I fail to follow these words of wisdom:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”
As I consider the word all. I reflect on whether I have given my whole heart to trusting God. Am I really trusting Him with all my heart? Or just a portion that remains hopeful despite my current situation? Or am I just trusting God with the things that I think He cares about?
When things don’t look the way I think they should or things aren’t moving at the rate of speed I desire and doubt creeps in, it is obvious that I am not trusting God with all my heart. During my private time with God, I am convinced that His promises are sure. Even as I meditate during praise and worship during church service, my heart seems so full of assurance. Yet there are times, way more often than I care to admit, I walk away with a little doubt in my heart. I think of ways I can help God out, as if He is not capable, creating my own master plan to make everything work according to my plan.
What prevents us from trusting the Lord all of our hearts?
A wounded heart…
“Guard your heart above all else for it is the source of life.” Proverbs 4:23
A wounded heart is a result of an unguarded heart. If we are not careful, we can let the seeds of human failures, bitterness over unanswered prayers, frustration from trying to do things on our own and even the issues of life fill our hearts leaving little room for trust.
A deceived heart…
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it?” Jeremiah 17:9
Sometimes we are deceived into believing we are not worthy to be loved by God and are therefore not eligible for His promises. We believe we must work to earn God’s love and His blessings. We are further deceived when we believe that we are self-sufficient and deny the All-Sufficient One’s ability to work on our behalf.
An impure heart….
“Create in me a clean heart, O God,” Psalm 51:10
Our hearts can be tainted by unforgiveness, unbelief and unconfessed sin. The grudges and guilt prevent us from drawing near to God, making it impossible to trust God. James encourages us to purify our hearts so that we can draw near to God (James 4:8).
An unsurrendered heart…
“For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” Romans 10:10
It is impossible to trust God if your heart is not surrendered to Jesus. When we have surrendered our hearts to Jesus, trusting Him with our lives, He will begin to work in our hearts.
Jesus gives us the cure for our hearts through the greatest command, “Love the Lord your God will all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” (Matthew 22:37). When we allow our hearts to be filled with the love of God that flows from a surrendered, pure, and open heart as we draw near to Him, He will teach us how to trust Him as we are reminded of His promises and how He has demonstrated His love (past and present) in our lives so that we can trust Him with our future. He is concerned about everything about us. There is nothing about us that He is unaware of or is off limits. He wants all of us and wants us to trust Him with it all. It’s either all or nothing.
“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to an all-knowing God.He who believes in God is not careful for the morrow, but labors joyfully and with a great heart. He must work and watch yet never be anxious or careful, but commit all to Him, and live in serene tranquility with a quiet heart, as one who sleeps safely and quietly.”
“…your Father knows the things you need before you ask Him.” – Matthew 6:8
Have you ever been waiting for your prayers to be answered and found the waiting period reminiscent of days from your childhood? Those days when we submitted our gift requests to our parents and anxiously waited in expectation for the special occasion to arrive with our much-desired gift in tow. We talked about the gift nonstop to anyone who would listen, we imagined how much joy it would bring us, and on occasion we lost sight of the gifts we already had while we waited for the brand-new gift to arrive. The forgotten gifts…piling up, neglected, and collecting dust. The same gifts we once begged for, the ones we couldn’t wait to get, the gifts our parents saved for and in some cases, sacrificed to purchase (that’s a word…). The forgotten gifts that require just a little T.L.C. – waiting to be shared with someone else that could benefit from its purpose and the same joy the gift used to offer.
When the special day arrives, we are often so excited about the gift, we can’t think straight. We open the packaging only to find out it’s not what we asked for…it’s not the gift we wanted. We pretend to show our appreciation while trying to cover our disappointment and, in some cases, hold back tears. We were so certain that our parents were going to deliver on our request. Didn’t they read the list? Didn’t they hear me talking about it 24/7? Didn’t they think I deserved it? Why didn’t they tell me I wasn’t getting the gift I asked for?
After we get over the disappointment and sit with the gift our parents opted for, we realize they gave us a gift we needed. A gift with our best interests in mind. A gift that brings goodness into our lives, a gift they knew would be a better suited for us or in some cases, a gift that would prepare us for what we really wanted but were not mature or responsible enough to handle just yet.
Often, we become so fixated on what we want; we miss out on what we need to receive the gift our Father has in store for us. We miss the lessons that prepare us, the people we need, and the people God has placed in our path that will benefit from our current and future gifts. We miss out on the process of allowing God to align our requests and our hearts for the new gift He eagerly wants to give us. Not the one we desired…the one He desires for us. The best gift. As He is preparing the gift, He wants to know that we trust Him and that He can trust us with the gifts He has for us.
The process of waiting can be challenging at times as we try to manage our desires, expectations, emotions, and our tendency to control the outcome. We become so focused on what we’re waiting for that we often lose sight of what is right in front of and what’s happening in between, we even tend to neglect the things we need to be maintaining while we wait. It is when we trust God and shift our focus to being present – present in the moment, present with the people in our lives, and present with God that we receive the best gifts. The gifts we need.
Trust our Father, He knows what we need before we even ask!
“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.”
I love to get things done. As much I love getting things done, I equally love to see the fruit of my labor…though I am not always in love with the process of getting it done. As I mature in my faith walk, I learned that my desire to get things done can sometimes get in the way, yielding less than favorable results. In my quest to clear my to do list and reach the goal, I can unintentionally kill the harvest. Perhaps I plucked my fruit too soon, attached myself to the wrong thing, or tried to protect myself from the pruning that is required to produce the best fruit. More often than I like to admit, it’s the inability to work from a place a rest that spoils my fruit.
One of my favorite recorded conversations Jesus had with His disciples is captured in John 15. He provides them instructions on how to create fruit that will last…fruit that is produced from a relationship with Him, remaining connected to Him and a willingness to submit to the process of producing a special kind of fruit. This conversation would be one of His last before becoming the seed that would produce a harvest for eternity.
“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ‘”
– Jesus (John 15:2-5)
God desires for us to be fruitful. Not our way. Not culture’s way. His way. He established the protocol for producing a special kind of fruit.
Fruit cannot be produced alone. Jesus instructs His crew to stay connected to Him, otherwise they wouldn’t be able to do anything. Not only do we need Jesus, but we also need partnership. God will send and position the people you need to get the work done. Sometimes it will require stepping out of your comfort zone, trusting, and asking for what you need.
Commit your plan to God, then do what He says. Whatever instruction God gives you as you are producing your fruit, JUST DO IT. Don’t delay your harvest because of the pesticide of disobedience. Jesus instructed His crew to stay connected to Him and do what He says. Then He promises if they did what He said, they could ask for whatever they needed, and He would give it to them.
You can be assured that whatever you need for your harvest has already been thought of and is waiting for you to take hold of.
Producing fruit is an act of love. Fruit produced with the wrong motives is rotten fruit Your fruitfulness should be an act of love towards God and others. While the work may be hard, the labor must be in love. Your work is an extension of God’s love for you, your love for Him and a demonstration of your relationship with Him.
“Show that you are my followers by producing much fruit. This will bring honor to my Father.”
-Jesus (John 15:8 ERV)
You were chosen for the fruit you were called to produce. The fruit you were called to produce can only be produced by you. Sure, there might be other varieties. But your fruit, patented by God, sealed with His spirit, and trademarked by you, gets its unique flavor from all that is in you. Everything you need for production is in you. What you don’t have is on the way. If God chose you for it, He is trusting you with it.
Pruning is essential for production. When we are producing good fruit, we can expect to go through the pruning process – the removal of the toxins that would otherwise infect and damage the harvest. Sometimes those toxins include control, pride, insecurity, and fear…. just to name a few. It may hurt but it’s necessary to produce something special.
You need His word. Let God’s Word lead you, fill you and instruct you. Don’t let your plans, ungodly and unwise counsel, anxiety, worry, and competitiveness kill your fruit.
‘Now the one sown among the thorns — this is one who hears the word, but the worries of this age and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful. But the one sown on the good ground — this is one who hears and understands the word, who does produce fruit and yields: some a hundred, some sixty, some thirty times what was sown.” ‘
– Jesus (Matthew 13:22-23)
Abide. Work from a place of rest – spiritual, emotional, and physical rest are necessary for production. Jesus invites us to rest in Him, trusting Him with our lives – all of it. While we work, we can work knowing that we don’t have to strive for results. If we commit our plans to Him, do what He says, lay aside our anxiety and trust the process, we can continually produce from a place of rest.
You were chosen to be fruitful. Now go and produce fruit!
“‘You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. ‘”
Loving someone, means you will inevitably experience pain…you risk being disappointed, frustrated, and even rejected. The pain associated with love is only known by the depths that one loves. In fact, it’s often not until you experience loss that you realize just how great your love was for that which was lost and there is no greater loss than when our loved ones transition from this life to the next. The scar of grief that remains is a reminder of the love we lost, how things were and how they could have been. The scar is frequently agitated by memories, pictures, special occasions and just about anything that reminds you it’s still there.
Grief is a process with no end in sight. It stays with you forever yet improves over time and with great care. While grief is associated with pain…and don’t get me wrong it is dreadfully painful at times, it is also a reminder of the love we had, the memories we made, and the life that we shared. Though we don’t welcome grief, it is an indication of our capacity to love and care for the people God has placed in our lives if only for a season but always in our hearts. It is in our grief, that we discover unknown strength, gain new perspectives of love, and a deeper appreciation for those that remain. Love is patient, gentle, kind….but it also hurts.
As I navigate my own grief journey, I am comforted by the love that I still have, the outpouring of love from my family and friends, and God’s grace…which is more than sufficient. I am also learned to embrace the process of grief and to handle myself with care.
When the pain sets in:
Remember
Remember the good memories you shared with your loved one. Remember the expressions of love, the moments that bring you joy, and the moments that make you laugh.
Release
Cleanse your soul. When the tears come, let them fall and just be. Tears are a necessary part of the journey.
Reach Out
YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE. Reach out to your family and friends. Let them know that you are hurting. You are not a burden. As one who loved, those deposits that you made are waiting for you with open arms. Don’t be afraid to say you are not okay. It’s okay not to be okay. And don’t be afraid to seek counseling or therapy. In fact, I highly recommend it.
Rejoice
Celebrate your loved one’s life and your progress in your grief journey.
Repeat
Grief is a forever thing. Repeat this process as often as needed.
Love hurts but it is worth it all.
Scriptures to comfort you throughout your grief journey:
Valentine’s Day. A day for lovers. A day set aside to celebrate love. Some choose to express their love through flowers, romantic dinner/gestures, candy, and cards filled with sweet sentiments reserved for this special day of love. For some, Valentine’s Day is a reminder of their relationship status or lack thereof. It can be a day of grieving what was lost, what was hoped for, and wondering why you are the only one in your circle who is still single. These are valid feelings. They shouldn’t be just shrugged off, dismissed, and ignored. However, they should not lead you to believe you aren’t loved either. The truth is you are loved more than you even know.
As a single woman, I must be intentional about being gentle and loving myself on Valentine’s Day, and to be honest regularly. I must remember how deeply I am loved by God and the people that He has placed in my life. To freely pour the love that I do have into those I am attached to. To spend time loving myself, appreciating my own worth and keep living so that when that special person does come along, I can fully appreciate and freely pour out the love that I have to offer.
See…the thing that I have come to realize is, there is only one True Love. He sees me, He knows me, He cares about me, and He loves me. I don’t have to earn His love; I don’t have to prove that I am worthy of love. I can be me and know that He loves me. There are no conditions to be met – only an open heart to receive what He has to offer. Without True Love, love can never be known or embraced.
There’s a story in the Bible about a young woman named, Leah, who was vying for the attention and love of her mate. A mate who was with her out of obligation, not love. A mate who loved someone else. She hoped by giving him babies, something her sister couldn’t do, it would make her worthy of his love. Leah, described as one with gentle eyes (kindly implying, she wasn’t attractive), was probably overlooked by many. However, she was seen by God. I am sure there were times Leah felt alone, rejected, forgotten about and wondered why she wasn’t worthy of love.
When I read this story, I wonder what Leah felt watching up close and personal someone else be in a relationship she desired for herself. What it must have been like to long for the love she saw her sister freely receive. I realize I can empathize with Leah. Wondering when it will be your turn as you celebrate your friends finding love. Watching time go by, hoping it won’t be too late. In those moments of fleeting discontentment, thinking I must be invisible, or something is wrong with me. Then reality sets in. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me, I have so much to offer the world (not just a man), and I am so very loved!
My sister (and those brothers who might stumble across this), let me encourage you…
You are seen. You are loved. You are worthy of love and there is nothing wrong with you. Maybe it’s not the one right now, but there are people all around you who love you and need your love. Not just for one day but EVERYDAY! There is only One Real Love, One True Love that fills your heart and will satisfy every desire – forever and always.
While you wait, know that you are seen, and that God has a plan for You – a plan He had in mind when He saw you in your mother’s womb. While you wait, give birth to that vision God has placed in your heart, live life fully, and love yourself well so that you can love others well.
God saw, heard, and blessed Leah. It did not require a love she thought she needed. She received the Real Love that she needed. And then Leah said, “and now I will praise the Lord!”
I promise you…the wait will be worth it!
Your Sister in Waiting,
Jennifer
Prayer:
‘I pray that Christ will live in your hearts because of your faith. I pray that your life will be strong in love and be built on love. And I pray that you and all God’s holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ’s love—how wide, how long, how high, and how deep that love is. Christ’s love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with everything God has for you. With God’s power working in us, he can do much, much more than anything we can ask or think of. To him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus for all time, forever and ever. Amen.’
Ephesians 3:17-21
Scriptures to remind you of how much you are loved:
So He Himself often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed. – Luke 5:16
One of the most important people that you are assigned to care for is you. That’s right you! It’s easy to neglect ourselves to make sure the needs of others are being met. We tend to feel guilty or selfish for putting ourselves ahead of others or even worse we have this false belief that everything will fall apart if we take time to pause for a timeout. We far too often consider our tireless work charitable. When in fact it is restless striving to maintain control. The reality is, none of us can pour from an empty cup.
Self-ministry (my new favorite word) is important. Prioritizing time to care for yourself, rest, pray for and encourage yourself. Spending time meditating on scripture to insulate yourself with the Word of God. Filling yourself with the oil to keep the candle burning. Refreshing yourself for the work ahead of you. Filling your soul with things that bring you joy and peace. Allowing God to minister to you so that you can minister to others.
One individual who beautifully modeled self-ministry is Jesus. Scriptures record the Messiah regularly taking time away for self-ministry. I love how Luke records it in his gospel, “Jesus often withdrew…”, He regularly took time to get away from the crowds for a time of prayer, rest and refreshment. Jesus was able to rest knowing that the needs of His people would be met, the work would continue, and the Father was in control. He was aware that He had to get away from the crowds. He knew the benefits and importance of being alone in the Father’s presence for a time of refreshment. That these get aways were necessary for Him to continue the work He was called to do. Jesus got away. And He did this often.
Surely, if Jesus, Son of God, God in the flesh, modeled this for us we can make time to minister to ourselves and allow Him to minister to us so that we can properly care for those around us.
I recently watched a movie where the main character had an overwhelming desire to be attractive. She felt unloved, unwanted, overlooked, and overweight – when in fact she wasn’t any of those things…at least to those that mattered. Through a series of made for movie events – including a bump on the head, she ended up believing that she was pretty.
While she believed with all her heart that her physical appearance changed, it didn’t. It was what she thought about herself that changed. As a result, she was more confident, outgoing, courageous and carefree – living her life to the fullest (sadly though at times her personality wasn’t so pretty…that’s a word for another day).
When you look in the mirror, what do you see?
As believers and followers of Jesus Christ, it is important that we see ourselves correctly. We need to believe what Our Father says about us and how He sees us so that we can live in the fullness of all that He desires for us.
Don’t allow the world, social media, culture or other people to determine what you see when you look in the mirror. Allow them to see the beauty that is inside of you…the hope of glory, Christ in you (Colossians 1:27).
You are:
Beautiful. (Psalm 45:11, Song of Solomon 4:7)
Made in His image. (Genesis 1:27)
Fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)
Precious. (Isaiah 43:4)
Loved. (John 3:16, I John 4:9-10)
Chosen. (Ephesians 1:4, I Peter 2:9)
God’s handiwork. (Ephesians 2:10)
A special possession. (I Peter 2:9)
A crown of splendor. (Isaiah 62:3)
Royalty. (I Peter 2:9)
True transformation begins the moment you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord, allowing Him to reign in your heart as King. He can help you adjust your vision so that you can see yourself as the king/queen He has created you to be.
Now let me ask again…when you look in the mirror, what do you see? Let Him transform you.
ROYALTY 