Tag: grief

Love Hurts.

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Love hurts.

Loving someone, means you will inevitably experience pain…you risk being disappointed, frustrated, and even rejected. The pain associated with love is only known by the depths that one loves. In fact, it’s often not until you experience loss that you realize just how great your love was for that which was lost and there is no greater loss than when our loved ones transition from this life to the next. The scar of grief that remains is a reminder of the love we lost, how things were and how they could have been. The scar is frequently agitated by memories, pictures, special occasions and just about anything that reminds you it’s still there.

Grief is a process with no end in sight. It stays with you forever yet improves over time and with great care. While grief is associated with pain…and don’t get me wrong it is dreadfully painful at times, it is also a reminder of the love we had, the memories we made, and the life that we shared. Though we don’t welcome grief, it is an indication of our capacity to love and care for the people God has placed in our lives if only for a season but always in our hearts. It is in our grief, that we discover unknown strength, gain new perspectives of love, and a deeper appreciation for those that remain. Love is patient, gentle, kind….but it also hurts.

As I navigate my own grief journey, I am comforted by the love that I still have, the outpouring of love from my family and friends, and God’s grace…which is more than sufficient. I am also learned to embrace the process of grief and to handle myself with care. 

When the pain sets in:

Remember

Remember the good memories you shared with your loved one. Remember the expressions of love, the moments that bring you joy, and the moments that make you laugh.

Release

Cleanse your soul. When the tears come, let them fall and just be. Tears are a necessary part of the journey.

Reach Out

YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE.  Reach out to your family and friends. Let them know that you are hurting. You are not a burden. As one who loved, those deposits that you made are waiting for you with open arms. Don’t be afraid to say you are not okay. It’s okay not to be okay. And don’t be afraid to seek counseling or therapy. In fact, I highly recommend it.

Rejoice

Celebrate your loved one’s life and your progress in your grief journey.

Repeat

Grief is a forever thing. Repeat this process as often as needed.

 

Love hurts but it is worth it all.

 

Scriptures to comfort you throughout your grief journey:

  • Psalm 23
  • Psalm 91:1-2
  • 2 Corinthians 12:9
  • John 16:33
  • Jeremiah 13:13-14
  • Matthew 5:4
  • Isaiah 40:29-31

HELLO?!?!?! I am in pain…

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As you’re going through difficult situations, has it ever seemed like no one sees your pain? Perhaps you believe that they don’t even care. You want to say “HELLO?!?!?! I am in pain over here!” but in reality your pain, though it does hurt, is not as bad as you think. It’s almost like you are under an anesthetic – you know that what you’re going through should hurt more than what you’re experiencing. You occasionally feel some tugging, a bit of discomfort, maybe some tears….or a whole of tears, but the pain doesn’t match up to how you want or expect to feel according to your situation. Your pain definitely doesn’t look like the world’s or maybe even like someone else that is experiencing the same thing. But the fact remains, you have been hurt.

Instead of letting God help us with our pain, we want others to make us feel better. We want them to know more about our hurt than seeing God’s grace. We settle for a quick balm to help cover the wounds as we wait for God to work all things together for our good. The embrace of a hug seems more comforting than kneeling and crying out to the Lord. The empathetic and kind words of well meaning family and friends momentarily sound better than hearing God tell you that this pain will make you stronger. Temporal comfort – a welcome distraction from the moments of silence intentionally designed that we might call out to God seeking shelter in Him.

“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.” – Psalms‬ ‭91:1, 4‬ ‭NLT‬

God’s feathers of grace cover the wounds of our pain. They are a shield of protection from ill advised counsel and well intended but misguided words of comfort, protecting us from further hurt as He strengthens us and mends the brokenness through His amazing grace. His covering, not only for our comfort and protection, but that He may be glorified through us.

The next time it seems like no one notices your pain, consider that they are seeing the fruit of your pain or better yet the One who is covering the pain. They know that you are in very capable hands…