Tag: life

Waiting…

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round silver colored wall clock

Photo by Oladimeji Ajegbile on Pexels.com

I don’t like waiting. Period.

I want what I want when I want it. I like to have the details, the expected wait times, and timelines in front of me. Slow wi-fi and computer start ups cause me to tap on my mouse pad a little faster. Waiting on people frustrates me, long lines annoy me (or any line if I am being honest) which is why I am thankful for advance ordering and pick up options. However, even with that there is the possibility that waiting is required.  Waiting tends to make me tired, frustrated and cranky.  As you can see, I am not too fond of  waiting.

I have to sadly admit, I am the same way with God. I am way too eager to see His plan unveiled, anxious to get out of the trial, ready to share what He is sharing with me without giving it time to settle in my own heart. I want to know all the details, the timeline, and reason for the wait. Though I know God is faithful, I tend to be impatient during the wait – missing out on the benefits of the wait. Often missing what is happening in the moment because I am too focused on what is on the other side of the wait. Neglecting those I am supposed to be serving while I wait. Not taking care of the things that I need to while I wait. Missing the lesson in the wait.

Why do we have to wait?!?!?! 

“My brethren count it all joy when you fall into various trials knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be complete, lacking nothing.”  – James 1:2-4 

Waiting is part of life. The wait is important. Learning how to wait is part of maturity. Waiting well is called patience. Patience is learned. Patience requires practice, which means we can expect many opportunities to let patience work in us.  It is in those moments of waiting that our faith increases as our patience is being developed…so that as James reminds us…we will be complete, lacking nothing allowing God to work His perfect plan for our lives. There’s a lot happening during the wait. Trust Him.

Just because we don’t like something, does not mean it’s not good for us…

Wait well.

Father God,  Give us the grace to wait well and trust what You are doing while we wait. Amen

LIVE NOW…

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This past week I celebrated another milestone birthday – TGBTG. It was bittersweet though – as many milestones have been over this year for my family and I. When you experience loss, things are different the first year. You have a different perspective on life, you view things differently, you have a different appreciation for things (or maybe not)…then there‘s the guilt, regrets, pain and void that can never be filled.

I had major plans for bringing in my 40th birthday, but my plans changed significantly because…..well things were different – a whole lot different this year. Almost a year ago, my brother’s life was tragically taken just 4 months before he would have celebrated his 16th birthday. The things at one point I thought I needed to celebrate another year of life became less important. I was grateful while at the same time guilty that I got to see 40 when my brother didn’t even have the opportunity to see 16.

I think about my own life at his age, the things I was into, the places I had been, some of the people that I associated with, the hell that I put my parents through and I know that it is nothing but the blood of Jesus and God’s grace that has kept me here (Some will say, “well where was this God at when your brother’s life was cut down”….believe it or not…He was there). I have often wrestled with and felt guilty that I am still here and he is not…that I had the opportunity to see more milestones that he did.

Though it was intentionally low key, I choose to be grateful for this milestone. Grateful for where God has brought me, where He has rescued me from, grateful for my family and friends, for all of the life experiences – good and bad – because they are me and were for me, for the open doors and even the dead bolted doors, for life, for joy, for peace, for life, and most importantly…for salvation.

A friend sent me a text on my birthday “remember some people say living starts when you turn 40”. That may be true for some people, but living for me truly began when I made the decision to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. If I’ve learned anything from my brother’s death, it’s been to live now. Don’t wait for the right time, a milestone, the right people, or the right place – LIVE NOW. Life begins when you make the choice to start living and how you choose to live makes a difference.

“…..I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” – Jesus

John 10:10 NIV

God used my little brother to teach me a lot about life. Unfortunately, it came at the cost of losing him but God’s plan – though I may never understand it…is greater than all of ours.

I love you little brother…forever and always. Thank you for reminding me to live.

If you want to start living now, say this prayer:

I am a sinner in need of rescuing. Jesus, I need you to rescue me. I believe that You came, died, and rose that I might be rescued to live forever with You as My Savior. I ask You to come into my heart, dwell in me and change me that I might live life to the fullest and bring glory to Your Name.

Thank you Jesus for dying that I might live.

Amen

“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

John 14:6 NIV