I’m back!
Back to one of my love’s…writing. Not that I have stopped writing or ever will (Lord willing) but writing has looked different for me in this season. It’s been more personal. It has been a vehicle for processing the tough questions…” Did I get it right?”, “Did I take care of the people and things that God has trusted me with?”, “What’s next?”. Writing for me this season has been a searching, purging, and cleansing of the soul.
Life has also been “lifing”! Though I feel like I have been present, time seems like it is moving at a new rate of speed. Speaking of time flying, this weekend I had the privilege of watching my son receive his bachelor’s degree. It seems like somehow overnight I became the mother of a 22-year-old college graduate. My once bright eyed, full of laughter baby boy is now a man with the world in front of him.
It is hard to put into words what I felt in that moment or even today. Not because there aren’t any words, but rather there are so many. There is so much to process, all the memories, the answered prayers, and wishing I could shrink him back into his pint size packaging. Excited and at the same time just a bit anxious about the journey ahead. The gratitude I have for being chosen to be his mother.
I have often wondered what this moment would feel like. None of them compared to what I am feeling. There have been moments where my heart has been so full I thought it would leap out of my chest. The quiet moments reflecting on the memories, silent prayers, sacrifices and tears shed over the years trying to figure out how to get this mothering thing right.
Then there is the moment. What now? How do I transition to being the mother of an adult? How do I let go to watch what I gave birth to, nurtured, prayed over go into the world to find his own place in it? The answer – trust God. If we’re being honest, the answer is much simpler than the doing. We think we know what is best for our children when it’s always been God at the helm teaching us, protecting them, and preparing the path they would take.
God has given women the greatest gift and privilege, second only to the gift of Jesus, with the gift of motherhood. He has entrusted us with the care of His sons and daughters, calling us to be fruitful and give Him glory in the process. To be fruitful, we must be willing to release what we produced – trusting God to take care of the rest. Releasing what we have given birth to demonstrates our trust in God. Releasing gives space for God’s promises to unfold. He has a plan for our children’s lives, just like He has one for ours. Releasing does not change who they are, who we are or who God is. My son was God’s son first and will always be just like I will always be his mother. No matter what.
As we approach Mother’s Day and in honor of mothers in every season of life, I will be sharing daily devotionals from A Mother’s Heart, a gift I wrote to encourage the special women in my life. A reminder of the greatness of who we are, to honor the sacrifices we are called to make, and to celebrate embracing the call of motherhood. Whether you have birth children or not, God has given you a mother’s heart.
Forever Grateful,
Jennifer
P.S. Scrolling through the pictures from this weekend, I came across this picture that gently reminded me “Mom, it’s okay to let go now.” LOL.
ROYALTY 